In Defense of Female Clutter

I read an article from the June 2009 issue of REAL SIMPLE entitled "in defense of male clutter" by Steve Almond. Steve talks about his particular attachment to inanimate objects that tie him to his past, including his exactly 4,123 CDs that he can't bear to part with. He says that he tries to clean out those CDs, but then he'll stick one in the stereo and is transported back in time. The same goes for the history that his Tshirts tell. His wife doesn't understand this as she tries in vain to declutter their home, allowing some concessions along the way, such as an ugly red newspaper rack that reminds him of his days as a reporter. Our junk ties us to our past and inspires our futures, is the basic message Steve is trying to relay.

I know this is true in my life. I embody female clutter, I love to make a good pile. If you went in my bathroom in Birmingham today, there is a hair dryer in the floor and make up is strew across the counter. Between John and I, he is definitely the neat, uncluttered one. He doesn't have piles of sentimental junk or tshirts with yellow arm pit stains. He doesn't buy crazy things on a whim, unless you count Mona, and I was the one telling him to just go with it, dogs are man's best friend. I was also the one yelling "buy this house, buy this house, today-right now!" when we walked in the little bungalow. The sunroom got me! I hope he looks back on these purchases and feels good about them :)

I can go to a flea market and need a grocery cart by the end of it. John tries to keep me at bay at estate sales, "Lacey, you don't need that restaurant size coffee decanter...Lacey, put that old Polaroid camera back!" "But wouldn't that look cool sitting out?" I argued. I know that I have a problem, I love junk and trinkets, and I need John in my life to make sure that one day I have money set aside for retirement.

I, like Steve, can't bear to part with articles of clothing that are sentimental to me. This includes sorority Tshirts, my original Rainbows that got me through Auburn, and a pair of hot neon pink AU gym shorts from high school. For instance, I still have the little cheap dress that I had on the first time I kissed John. I WON'T get rid of the MTV tshirt I bought on my first trip to NYC (I also had to have a Tavern on the Green tee).



I still have my Birkenstocks, I mean, HELLO 1996! In my closet in Alex City is the Gap leopard print/faux fur skirt that I thought was OH so sexy in the 9th grade. It would not fit me today, but that is not the point.

What would you think of me if you knew I had about 10 Holiday Barbies still in their boxes in the top of my closet?



Along with three American Girl dolls and a trunk of their clothes? There is a huge plastic locker full of my elementary school artwork and other things, and a trash bag full of my childhood tshirts and jerseys. They were supposed to get made into a quilt, Mom!

I also tend to buy books on days I'm inspired. I spent about sixty dollars one day on books on floral arrangements. Then another day it was a book on knitting (Mom laughed at that one). Then another day it was books on freelance writing. I am always scheming or deciding that I am going to take up a new hobby. You just never know, right?


What do you hoard and clutter in your life? What will you NEVER EVER part with? Do tell.