The Meat and Potatoes

In light of several recent conversations with a friend of mine who has been conducting a chivalrous courtship via the telephone, I have found myself considering the importance of communication between two people involved in a relationship. When I say relationship, I do mean of the romantic sort, but it is also applicable to that of the platonic sort as well.

As always when talking about relationships, a person's best reference is the current relationship that they are in from which to draw experience and opinion, however one might always reach backwards as well to formulate their thoughts. I have come to the realization that one of the best reasons that John and I "work" is the fact that we are able to talk and communicate calmly and rationally. Note that I did NOT say that we ALWAYS talk and communicate calmly and rationally, but I do believe a relatively conscious effort is made on the part of both parties to do so. In fact, one thing that made this relationship different from others I have been a party to is our ability to have and carry on intelligent conversations about topics other than ourselves. I find John knowledgeable on most things I know nothing whatsoever about, and I am able to learn from him while fostering an utmost respect for him. Maybe he feels the same way, although much of my knowledge can usually be classified in the form of some sort of trivia, or a compilation of random facts that really don't carry much weight in the real world or have much monetary value to them! One example would be my ability to name the tree in his neighbor's yard as a Japanese maple. John was a bit surprised I knew this, and in an offhand/aw shucks/I know all sorts of trees names kind of way, I had to admit there was one in my parents yard from which I had extracted many leaves over the years for science projects. Or when I impressed him and George with my knowledge of maps while watching the Weather Channel. They thought they were looking at a zoomed in map of Alabama and were discussing that it wasn't supposed to rain, when I pointed out that it was actually a map of Iowa.

Anyways--I got slightly off track for a moment, because what I am trying to emphasize is the importance of "talking" in a relationship. I am having deja vu, and perhaps I touched on this in a past blog post, but I truly feel that sitting down and talking with someone is one of the more intimate bonds two people can share. If you know me, you know that I am an unwilling car companion in any car ride that takes longer than three or four hours. I do, however, look forward to those rides with John or a friend because it means lots of talking. I will also point out here that it is equally important to be able to "share" silence with someone as well. And yes, I got that from John, and it was probably a point he made while turning up the radio on one of those said long car rides!

My friend I mentioned earlier is actually getting to know a person in the most amazing way, because so much attraction lies waiting to be discovered in conversation. It is the meat and potatoes, so to say, of what makes a person interesting. Sure, looks are great, but they eventually fade. At the end of the day, we will all be wrinkly and rocking on our front porches with a significant other that we can only hope still finds us interesting at 80 or 90 years old! By that time, talking is probably all you'll be able to do! In conclusion, I think I will say that the happiest relationships are usually born out of an initially interesting conversation that two people shared and are still continuing, years later.