Margaret Handley Lane Shaffer: A Tribute

At Bray & Leslie's wedding last year

The phone is ringing off the hook and a neighbor has already brought doughnuts and sausage swirls--a Shaffer has gone on to glory and one can only imagine there was a confrontation at the gates.

Margaret Handley Lane Shaffer passed around around 6:30ish last night.  She was diagnosed with congestive heart failure two years ago and was told her time was limited.  She had a bad check up last week and was told she needed a heart cath and if it went well, she needed some robotic heart surgery or she would be in a hospice situation.  Ma, however, insisted she felt fine and her doctors didn't know what they were talking about.  Only Dr. Lewis Lamberth ever knew what was really going on, as far as she was concerned.  They tried to do the heart cath on Tuesday, but her vasular disease was so bad they could not enter how they needed to.  They said all they could do was make her comfortable and sent her home yesterday morning.  Dad went to get her yesterday morning and Ma said she could NOT leave yet, she hadn't been fed breakfast.  Dad quickly told her she was on HIS schedule and he had to get to work. 

In the end, it is a blessing that Ma died when she did and did not suffer, as she surely would have over the next few months.  She was not destined to end up on dialysis nor spend her final days in a nursing home.  She drove her van up until the end, and Ma, always a petite thing, always drove big cars (she had several suburbans).  She told us a few months ago she needed a Hummer.  Lil Blake said his life would be over if his grandmother drove a Hummer.

The most defining thing about Ma, in my lifetime anyways, is the fact that she was Alexander City's Mrs. Claus for over ten years.  She had the big hooped skirt, red dress, and fake grey bun to boot.  It was always scary, she'd leave it lying around and you'd think it was a big grey squirrel.  She did countless appearances and rode in the Christmas parade EVERY year.  When you are 5 years old, what is cooler than saying your grandma is Mrs. Claus?  I'm convinced this sealed my social status at an early age and made me popular amongst my peers asI bragged MY grandma called Santa everynight IN FRONT OF ME!  I was one link removed from the big guy, and I wasn't talking about God!  If I decided a few days before Christmas I needed to add one more thing, Ma handled it. 

Ma was Christmas--her whole life revolved around Christmas.  She got married at Christmas (December 19).  She would never ever put her tree up before the 19th.  There are 500 million Santa Clauses at her house.  I'm not exaggerating.  She loved china and she loved fancy affairs.  She loved to be the center of attention.  She was high drama in the most Southern/Scarlet O Hara way.  She either loved you or hated you.  If she hated you....man, look out!  You were dead to her.  I have so many Ma stories, and my friends often request them when there is a lull in conversation or we need a good laugh.  Dad and I probably get some of our creativeness (imaginations) and ability to "embellish" from her, for Ma could tell a good "yarn," so to say. 

I am so glad Ma got to make it to the Monograms and Mimosas shower last weekend.  We situated her in a chair and she never moved from it, but how she loved Willow Point Country Club. LOVED it.  She was a member for years and was all about "eating at the club."  Someone tried to give her an ice water and she quickly told them to make that a Blood Mary.  The day before I had stepped in Cloud Nine to buy a few gifts and in she came, shopping for me a gift for the M&M shower.  We went over to McDavids and then to Carlisle's, and as she admired my registry tables, she told me in a proud voice what "great taste" I had.  From Ma, that may be the highest compliment she could give you.  I saved her notecard last weekend that she attached to my gift, all it said was "We love you, Ma & Grandaddy," but I think...I think somehow I knew we were in the home stretch, and it's important to me to have handwritten things.

There are so many memories, and in the end that's all you are left with.  I feel blessed to have had her for a grandmother and to have had her as long as I did.  Grandparents are a special gift and they give way less spankings.  I say that, but Ma would TEAR your hands up with a ruler.  Anyone who went to Russell Afternoon and  made mischief knows this very well (she was the director of that program for years). 

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers and good feelings you can send our way.

Merry Christmas,

Lacey