Christmas Trees: FAKE OR REAL?

I have been forced to blog on this topic...George Stegall has waged a full blown battle with me...

It started out innocently enough, with the below Christmas version email of Get To Know your friends. I will post mine and George's responses to this email (and only the tree question):

LACEY:

2. Real tree or Artificial?

I like a good old artificial--less up keep and you don't have to worry about burning down your house.

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GEORGE:


2. Real tree or Artificial? I hate whoever invented artificial trees. I think people that get artificial trees are the same type of people that don't allow their kids to believe in Santa. I will never ever ever have one in my home. Shaffer's stock decreased significantly after I read her answer.

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MY RESPONSE:

OK---TO CLAIRFY

George and I have basically spent the past hour fighting and with him telling me I am a loser for going in for an artificial tree:
1. I don't want to deal with it,
2. they are messy,
3. you have to water it,
4. vacuum more --which me and Bess don't like to do anyways---
5. I told him I would have an evergreen candle burning---same effect.
6. Me and Bess are buying the 6ft $25 fake tree at Wal MART---which already HAS LIGHTS on it!! and we are recycling our mom's xmas decorations they aren't using.

AND ---having an artificial tree is not like telling your kids there is not a SANTA.
I love SANTA--and honestly, Christmas hasn't' been the same for me since I learned the truth. I am wounded---and I've never truly bounced back. I have trust issues now and some of the fun was lost for me in that revolution. I can't wait to be Santa, but I hate to know that my kids will experience the same pain that I did.

For the record George, when I have children, we'll do the REAL TREE b/c it is fun to let them go pick out the tree at the farm etc; I vividly remember doing this w/ my parents and then I tried to jump over a mud puddle--fell in in, got soaked and had to ride home naked. I was 4ish probably. It was a green sweatsuit w/ ducks and my name on it

Go and Be Merry Yall!
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THEN THE FIGHT GOT PERSONAL: GEORGE GOT EVEN MORE UPSET ONCE JESSICA ADMITTED HER LOVE FOR A FAKE TREE, AND REALIZED THAT THIS IS AN ALEX CITY THING. HIS ANGER THEN TRANSGRESSED TOWARDS ODD ALEX CITY OBSESSIONS AND POINTS OF INTERESTS. I ALSO CLARIFIED THE FOLLOWING POINTS:

DEAR GEORGE:

Alex City is a unique and one of a kind place. It boasts many urban legends as well as events and practices foreign to outsiders. You have married into this, so you must learn to respect it. I will address some of your following concerns and questions, taking them lightly, because you just don't fully understand, since you are from the Homewood region, once our BRHS arch nemesis....

1. FAKE TREES--Alex City folks are no nonsense, no fuss, low key folks. The Howells also have a fake tree. I have already dwelled about where I stand on this...

2. CHAIN RESTAURANTS--Being of small town origins, Alex City folk only knew of McDonalds, KFC, and Hardees back in their childhood days. I think that Burger King has been around my whole life time as well. So when we would venture to the big metropolis of BHM--we fell in love with Ruby Tuesday's, Applebees, Outback, and more recently--CHEESECAKE FACTORY! We appreciate the small things in life, and are not snobby in regards to eatery. Sure, we love an original, and off the beaten path sort of place, but we fully embrace the chain restaurant. While in AU, Alex City folk could not eat enough Chick Fil A--EVER

3. FRONT HUGS--People from Alex City do not like you if they do not Front Hug you. How quickly you are front hugged says alot about how people perceive you and what kind of first impression you make. For instance, if I say "We Don't front hug" that means me and some other person are not on the same level, we don't like each other, maybe we merely tolerate one another or there is some level of indifference present. You WANT to be FRONT HUGGED. When someone front hugs me when they meet me, i instantly like them--b/c they are outgoing and feel comfortable embracing me. It is an instant camaraderie. I don't like side hugs, unless there is something in my arms, and I don't like to be patted--it is impersonal.

4. BACCALAUREATE--I barely remember mine...I don't think anyone said anything that rocked my world and made me want to yell Hallelujah! However, it is a big word that A/C folk say once a year, so we are bound to say it wrong or with a specific pronunciation. this does not make our pronunciation wrong, only unique.

5. CHIMNEY ROCK--It is the site of many good and crazy times-especially MD05--Present Day. As a child you need to jump of Chicken a few times, just to get comfortable. Alex City folk are fearless and pride themselves on not being scared of heights. You must jump from the big rock in high school or college. It is fine if that takes liquid courage, b/c at that moment you are showing off and probably impressing someone of the opposite sex with your bravery. If you have never jumped, you cant' have an opinion and George-I dont' think you have jumped, to my knowledge.


In conclusion, no one tree is better or worse than the other. TO EACH THEIR OWN, as we so often like to say in the humble little village of Alex City. Does anyone remember Charlie Brown's Christmas tree? Sure, who doesn't! It was not more than a branch, small, weak, under watered, and it looked like it might catch on fire. Charlie's tree taught us that it is not the size, shape, or make of the tree, but the love that goes into the tree itself. Let us all fill our trees with love this year and Joy to World!

PEACE